When a mom watches heart-break and disappointment she picks up the pen and begins to write, the writing of my words seem to do a work all of their own. I let them soothe the ache and breathe life upon my mothering heart. Dear girls… Read More
I’m in like Flynn, down like Jackson Brown! Somehow it all came to a head. A year of building , not the kind of brute force building but that inner building of strength. I have always had a fond affection for strength sports, the feel of the cold steel bar gripped tightly in my hands has in some ways given me great satisfaction, and a tight grip equals a tight core. So when I literally lost my grip a year ago due to injury I had no idea I was setting out to find and rebuild my “core”. Traveling through 2000 miles I drug heavy ship chain, sand bags, and a few vintage metal weight plates in the car. Somehow knowing I could continually work on my outer strength while my inner seemed to face a breaking point, anesthetized the ache.
But this is only a small piece, I remember in High School struggling with the fact that really I loved weights I loved strength, but that ‘s not for girls. So in turn, it wasn’t something I openly would admit too. And people have made their comments, suggesting that somehow a strong woman is out for a good fight. I have struggled with this image through the years, trying not to fit in any one box. I love to write, I love flowers, I love to wear pink sometimes and…. I love weights.
Something beautiful has occurred in my life however, like when the sun has just set and meets the ocean for a few moments of indescribable beauty. Through the growing pains of the last year, there has been an inner strength birthed. Planted as a seed it has only been through hard ship, more hard ship, dedication to move forward, and perseverance that I can see it coming out to meet and join my outer strength. And my daughter whom I have looked at with such poise and grace, said it straight at me ” Mom that is your beauty.” And so it is that strength has it’s own beauty, only it is missing something if the core, the” true strength” has not been braided together with it. I find it not pushy and conceited but rather it is born through humility and grace. Weakness is opportunity for strength born afresh in a life. And Strength Himself has shown me yet again, he has heard my heart and grew it stronger.
So I find myself staring down a power lifting meet in two weeks. For me it is a testimony, not to weigh and measure myself against another, judge and be judged. But a celebration that “I am enough” who I am in this moment is all that is needed. A celebration of coming through the breaking process and letting it do it’s work, because something “new” always comes from that. You are “Enough” I am “Enough” right where you are in this moment. So I am all in, in like Flynn