Mornings first light!
Words in anticipation,
The first song to start the day off
The ritual of coffee
fresh face, clean teeth
Which shoes to wear?
What time is it?
Where is my phone?
The light, it invites, did you notice?
a new day, welcome, come play.
Don’t take yourself so seriously
Enjoy the day!
I’m still tripping over boxes here, trying to figure out how to live in this new space. It all got me to thinking, living in a home, and being home are two different things. True”HOME” is a place of welcoming love, non-judgemental acceptance, and physical affection. To live in a True home space is to experience these. But it comes from the inside out. And I have experienced these without actually being in the physical dwelling of a home. Would that I would be “home” to others. To be a safe place for others to stop on their journey, finding rest for their souls. To allow them to question God and life without judgement. To give a hug if needed. And I can take this expression of Home wherever I go. Yes, it is a mobile home!
I am not unaware of the multitude of those out there wandering about, wondering where “Home” is? And while there is a need for a tangible dwelling, each one of us possess a place inside, a city if you will where we might just provide even for just a small moment , ” HOME” for a wandering soul. A place of welcome, comfort, rest, and possibly a small gesture of affection. If only we will open the gate to our city, the door to our home and make space for another .
Spaces. Every day we have the opportunity to decide what to make space for. I am wondering why we are so quick to make space for, anger, fear, and anxiety? For shaming ourselves, for doubting ourselves, and overworking ourselves.
We each are given the capacity to invite others into our spaces, to make room for another, to share life. Not to the point where there is no longer a me and no longer a you, the space between, that is a necessary, A defining space. But often times we forget we have that space, and it is quickly filled by something other than… another. Or we may have stipulations on that space. And the stipulations fill up the space and there is no room for another. Or they may be allowed a visit and kicked out to be replaced with stipulations again.
I know this all too well, I have lived this. It has been a year now. My family and I we have not had space of our own, a place to call home. Or have we? As others have hurled words of discouragement at me I have a choice, make space for that to lodge deep in my soul, or, make an even bigger space for Hope. I choose to clear space for HOPE. Just when it would seem that space is very limited, that there is no breathing room, I find within myself the very capacity an entire “home” full of spaces. And I realize that all to quickly my spaces need some expanding and remolding. And Grace knocks at the door, welcome in my friend I’ve made space for you. Space is a gift we have been given, what is filling your spaces?
There was this little girl full of Grace and I can remember her being all but four years old, and I can remember how it’s not real hard for children to see it in your face. To see strain, worry and stress. And I remember it perfectly – she trying to invite me to play and I can remember how important it was for these thoughts in my head to be finished, to be thought through. Play seemed to take me away from the matter at hand, and this was a serious matter to think though. Then, these little hands they came in close and cupped my face and that voice of Grace – I remember it still, like a sweet voice in my soul. ” Mamma your too hard” And I knew she saw with real eyes, she saw that the most serious matter at hand was play! I’ve never forgotten these words I’m learning, learning to blow the dandelions into the wind, to skip, to swing high and to listen to the voice of children, there is much truth found in them.
There are moments when you run out your back door and try with all your might to capture what your eyes behold, and yet the experience can not be caught or recorded. Some things in life were meant to be just that… experienced! This moment of Glory hit me smack in the face and I was reminded it’s out there it’s all around only our eyes aren’t always open to receive, to behold. Look for those moments where what your eyes behold are greater than words can expressed and just be in it.
This picture was an out my back door glory moment!
Hello little blog it has been a while, I’ve missed you. Things haven’t been quiet it’s just that in this new season of life I have to fight to have this time with you! A break in the clouds and today words came. And here they are. It is good to be back!
This is what it is to meet the lover of my soul. I felt a pull to this little table by the window. The sun shinning on it in a way that beckoned me. I get my coffee and sit in what feels like a deep breath. This time, this table feels like its prepared for me waiting for its 8: 00 arrival. It feels right, feels good. And I know it is you, you welcome me.
The thing with stillness is, you forced to , realize where your heart is. I suppose that is why so many divert from the practice. I sit in the stillness Frank Sinatra is serenading me from the speakers, and yet it is woven into this stillness as a beautiful part of it. I begin to think of all I have screwed up, words that have been un-life, not life-giving that have fallen from my lips moments of discontent, fatigue, anger and restlessness. But then , the lover of my soul meets me in this sunny spot, He is wooing me, not interested in the baggage I want to bring up. He had invited me to drop it all. Drop it all and just be loved. I want to come up with some reason as to why this can’t be. He, he won’t have it. Should we not just sort through this mess. A silent, but it feel it, “Leave it”.
Truth is, once invited to the table, Love melts it all away. Love won’t have anything in the way of the expression of Love. No heights, nor depths, nor darkness. I feel all the tension subside my body relaxes, This I don’t want to fight.
At the end of the day with the last light peaking through my soul breathes. All is well, All is well!
This ‘thing’ that I have entered into now, is bigger than me. It is beyond the small, It is out in the wide open spaces. I am no longer in my safe sheep’s pen. I took the shepherds invitation, and I feel Him with me, It’s just there are times where what was once considered safe, isn’t anymore. What was ‘safe’ I now find kept me small, it kept Him small. When I go about looking for my new ‘safe’, that place where maybe I won’t have to step forward – where maybe I can hide a little, I find it not, all I find are wide open spaces.
Oh I longed for those wide open spaces don’t get me wrong. But that is exactly what they are, and in them all that you have learned up to this point is suddenly worked out. Wide open has to become the new ‘safe’. You look down at your feet each day and say, ” are you ready to make steps forward again? ” You learn, in the wide open spaces, going back is not an option. I suppose I could lay down, give up, but I have grown to the point where I don’t want to. I don’t want to lay on the floor of the valley, I want to walk through. The shepherd is always in front of me only, He is also allowing me to choose a lot of my steps. This quite frankly is scary, I find a little more trembling with each step, a little more caution. But, I know it is right, it is good! So I speak it to myself, ” Take courage dear heart, take courage.”
In your wanderings don’t forget to Wonder! There are those moments when you must stop dead in your tracks. Those times when the very sky you look upon was grander than you realized, and it seems to demand your attention even if but for a moment! The Creator reminds us there is always more. Make room for that more. Let the wonder expand you!
I missed it! I wasn’t able to write last week and well….I felt a part of me missing. I am driven to write, words, sentences, paragraph’s, stories begin forming on the inside of my head, waiting to tumble out. I can’t help it, I am not even sure I write that well, but I must. In fact if I don’t, there is a part of me I feel… I have lost touch with. You could say it is a passion of mine.
Passion, it is what drives us. It is what we must do in order to be whole. The definition of Passion in which comes from the Latin verb patoir, means to suffer and endure. So, something that drives and sustains us in the face of yes… suffering. If this is the case, than it is worth the inconvenience. It is worth giving up some of our comforts to experience the exploration of what we are passion about. To risk and have suffered in the midst of it, is far better than to not have taken risk at all.
My family and I sold our home, my husband left a 13 year career, we packed all we had and headed out for a 2000 mile journey for five months. We are not sorry a day that we did it. We were passionately driven to experience more Life. There were many hardships, but all of them worth it.
It has all led to further exploration in all of our lives of what drives us, what is life-giving for us. The risk even though there was loss was far worth the cost. Passion is worth the cost. Here I am writing, a big risk, sharing my photography, but I am passionate about it. I won’t be seen or heard by millions but in my little world of influence if I even inspired one brave soul….it has been worth the risk!